Identity is what you do, not what you "are"

I am always disheartened when I hear people say things like "I am depressed" or "I am claustrophobic" or whatever.

"I am" is a deceptively powerful thing.  It's the name of the almighty in the Torah, if you want a religious foundation; psychologically, one creates identity with the words "I am".  So whether you believe that you are an extension/expression of Source (God, spirit, Yahweh, Allah, whatever) or simply a chemical stew held together by electrical impulses - pluses, minuses, etc. - whatever you focus on, you become.  Even quantum theory understands this - the act of observation changes the observed.

So someone who says "I am depressed" will never be anything else.  Someone who says "I feel depressed" has not identified themselves as walking depression, but rather someone currently experiencing depression.  Big difference.  (That same person could choose to keep themselves busy as well, since to be "depressed" is to lack motion.)  To someone who "is claustrophobic", they are, in fact, merely thinking claustrophobic thoughts - but they've created an identity around it.  Nobody *is* claustrophobic, really.  There are just some that process confined spaces as a problem.

While the commonplace mind may dismiss this as semantics, there is no question that mood affects chemistry, and identity (or perception of such) affects mood.  A stressful mindset creates acid in the system, which does not magically disappear when you suddenly feel better.  That chemical residue still resides in the system, still metabolizes into the body, still accumulates.  To detox, one must do so emotionally as well.  The process of fixing the body after a lifetime of toxic mindsets and misguided notions of "identity" can be a long one.  But it has to begin with "I am".

I am health.  I am love.  I am peace.

What you think I am is your business, not mine.

The me you don’t know and the me you don’t know that I don’t know and the knowing of me I didn’t tell you and the you that I told me about but you never revealed

My own thoughts on the overly simplified religious paradigm that most people follow is hardly of interest to them, or anyone.  Religious notions become identity, and once identity is established, people become very hostile to anything that may change/evolve it.
Nonetheless, if there is someone reading who holds on to this view that the universe is good vs. evil – God vs. Satan, for example – then here’s something to consider, which may untie you from the idea of a cosmic vending machine, operating on prayer coins, that may/may not dispense what you ask of it, depending on the will of the machine (to widely paraphrase something Wayne Dyer said).  I look at the whole thing as being within each “individual” (I put that in quotes as I know we’re all part of one reality) – that is, the higher self is God, the ego (lower self) is Satan.  The higher self is always operating on the notion of what is beneficial for all, whereas Ego is concerned with image/acquisitions/rewards.
As it stands for most, the idea of “Good” is not really what serves the whole, but what benefits the particular clique of the interpreter.  In our society, Ego is not seen as “Evil” so much as an expression of individual importance.  “I’ll be my real self and fuck the rest!” as the oft-repeated mantra goes.  (I have always found this to be foolish, as adding the “fuck the rest” part still leaves someone else’s opinion involved, but I digress.)
I put it to the few (or the none, most likely) that read this that God is the higher self and Satan is the Ego.  This is less simple than Good vs. Evil, but ultimately it makes more sense.  I have never bought into the idea that we, as humans, are disconnected from the divine.  We don’t come from divinity to be disconnected for a while to see if we can become divine again.  And I certainly don’t buy into the idea that if you’re deemed to have failed, that you will be tossed into fire and brimstone for eternity.  That’s not what a loving God (whatever that means) would do with the misguided.  Nonetheless, the fact that some people want to keep it that simplified is one of many reasons I leave the interpretation and understanding of the divine to the individual (again, the term ‘individual’ meaning the consciousness that still operates on Ego and considers itself separate from the whole.)   God is a oneness (all one) and Ego is a twoness (me vs you) so I'll never see me as separate from divinity (if I want to get anywhere, that is.)
Then again, this is probably wrong.  Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you read it, if you don’t tell anybody I used to believe something else.  Actually, tell them what you want.  I don't own anything except this moment.

Walking on non-potable water

Wary of strangers.  Walking the world in an aloof white noise.  Contemplating everything and nothing, which is what the Tao does.  It does nothing and leaves nothing undone.  I'm an extension of it as much as anyone and anything, just as much as I am not it and neither are you.

Self-invalidating validations are replete in eastern philosophy.  I am reminded also of the Native American proverb that no tree has branches so foolish as to fight amongst themselves.  So, while the purpose may be inexplicable or clear as day, it is all part of a perfect universe, no accidents.  Regardless of how our acquired biases interpret it for our brains.

I play the finite game, knowing it is designed to serve only this particular physical incarnation.  And yet, played well, it can inform the infinite.

No explanations are required, no justifications need be made, to anyone, ever.  If I do so it is because I feel as if it might serve the listener's higher awareness.  But there is no obligation for me to make sense or to follow society's expected or unwritten guidelines.

Ducking around

Another day, another walk around the lake.  Only birds out in the rain, save for a few dragonflies.  The day before, I'd also seen two javelina, discourteous enough to scurry away before I could ready the camera.  But I digress: here are some highlights of the day's SLR exercise.


This crow was the only one of the three that didn't bolt at my approach, leaving him confusedly squawking for his pals.

In the same vein, this duck approached while all others in the group left.  She followed me along for a while...

...and eventually settled at the shore to preen herself.

This lovely blue heron, all by its lonesome, would only allow me so close before taking flight to the opposite end of the lake.  As I made my way that direction, it then sauntered back (by foot) to this spot.  And as I returned again, it flew back.  Sort of a fun little chess game we played.  Until I can fly, it's a stalemate. 

Ducks and heron = harmony.  Ah, to be a duck.