It's distinctly embarrassing to express one's lowest emotional meanderings, only to discover as you're doing so just how ridiculous you sound. And, as well, to discover just how few people are there listening and how blatantly they express no interest whatsoever. They're around when you have free gifts or convenient things for them to acknowledge, but when you really need them, I'm just hearing fucking crickets.
Luckily I have at least one person who's always there, although she's not the most gentle at times. Maybe I'm just too weak-natured, but sometimes when I want to fall like a feather, she hands me an anvil. I guess life hands us what we need, sometimes, rather than just what we think is best. I don't know if it's as simple as 'move past it'... maybe it is. Maybe I can just walk away from all of that, jump in to the ether, trust something higher than me.
I'll marry her, if she'll have me. She says she will. Will I remain qualified for the job? I don't know, but frankly, it's the best thing I have to fight for... a united family once more. Then I can find a new support circle to encompass that, one that is really there, not just in words (or lack thereof).
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Keep it civil or you'll go the way of the dodo.