Somatico

It's easy enough to see the connection between mood and body.  For example, in witnessing the clock face and calculating that I had plenty of time to attend to some bodily requirements (specifically, a round of calisthenics at the local fitness center) I discovered my mood open to the notion (though somewhat indifferent as opposed to inspired).  As I prepped myself for the trip, my desire to accomplish this needed trip began to wane, to the point where, just a quarter mile from home, I had quite made up my immediate mind that there was little point in doing so.  My energy level then mirrored this newfound mood.

Of course, if I were sensible in the least, I would have risen above this sensation and done the exercise nonetheless.  Instead, here I sit in the coffeehouse with my stomach scrunched against the table edge while I nurse my iced coffee and try to find some semblance of wisdom in my own typed words.

The fact that I can be derailed so easily by a momentary lapse of energy is telling.  It's perhaps the greatest argument for actually doing the work.  After all, the exercise is not difficult.  I tend to feel somewhat refreshed at the end of it.  There is only the defeated feeling I have manifested over time that, following the work, I am even more inspired to consume things that negate my progress.  Over time this realization has evolved into the thought that, unless I am both an exercise junky and a wise diner, the effort is wasted.

Obviously, this is a correct mindset if my intention is to tone this body.  Is that my motivation though?  Should I approach it with vanity?  My heart says no, which therefore adds more fuel to the demotivation fire.  I should certainly be focused on health, particularly with advancing age and infirmity.  And yet, there is little excitement for me in this.  It makes it feel like work.  No less so than going to my tedious current job, which gets just slightly more difficult to do every night I go.

Typing this all out, of course, makes it all seem very silly.  I'm too old for this childish whining.  Do the right thing because there's a bigger picture.

So what misguided thinking has allowed me to turn this into a problem?  And how does one disconnect the default physiological response and just do the right thing?  The world is replete with stories of people who have overcome a lifetime of excuses.  Is my difficulty in the very nature of the "web generation" - whereby we are able to witness entire stories of success in quick anecdotes, without a real sense of the long road involved?  I believe this is the case, as the youth of today want "their share" without any understanding of the time involved in the process.  They've lost perspective.  I think I may be infected by this ideology.

So, insufferable as it feels, the change I want to make is a single-day-at-a-time one.  That must be the overlying maxim.  At the same time, it's necessary to not believe that there is a future time when success is suddenly validated: success is every little decision in the right direction.  One is entitled to live as if they're already where they want, while remembering the path there is a step at a time.  If you're fat and want to be healthy, then live with a healthy mindset and the decision-making process ~can~ comply.  Then there is the daily effort to rise above the conditioned responses that keep you in an uninspired mindset.

See, I know all this stuff.  What's bottlenecking my success?  Not being present.  Being in the moment is the only way to be able to take charge of ~every~ moment.