Creating your own light

Something very simple was taught to me recently, though to be honest, "taught" isn't quite the right word.  Indeed, it was something I already knew, but had continued to fail to do.  So, it was taught in the sense that I learned to pay attention to it.

It's no big secret: the vocabulary you use to describe yourself and/or your situation.  It's easy to disregard the significance of self-talk.  We feel it's perfectly natural to talk to ourselves with phrases like "you dumbass" or "what the hell's your problem" or "you're too fat" or whatever.  "I am... " is a wording that creates identity.  "Why am I so fat?" prompts the mind to find an answer: "Because you're lazy and you eat too damn much."  It is just as easy to ask "How can I lose this weight" and it doesn't tie you to the fat; it keeps it as a separate entity, one you can detach from without losing identity.  You're "a person with weight to lose" - that's someone who's independent of the weight.  A "fat person" is someone who remains so because their identity is tied to that description.

I use the "fat person" example because that was something I've devoted a lot of years to being... and now my vocabulary has to change.  My identity depends on it.  What is it to be "a man" or "a diabetic" or "an introvert" or "a writer" or "unsociable"?  All of these words may describe, but if they're tied to identity, they become prison bars.  If I use them to describe myself, I am compelled to live up to them, since the mind strives to keep us in line with our notion of identity.  However, if I opt to describe myself as "I am" and nothing more, I don't have to live up to any of these things.  Or I can simply choose better words or questions.

So, "I am ______."  Once you realize you will live up to what you put in the blank... you start getting more and more careful about what you say to yourself.  You become what you think about all day long.  You manifest your reality.  I have been reminded of this a lot recently, from a variety of sources.  And it teaches me, there is one thing I most definitely am: I am grateful.  ;)